Dear Diary,
Ahem, this is one of the scribbles I would've preferred to keep in the private pages of my diary but! So, yesterday opened up a can of worms. Scathing accusations and blistering attack. Should I nurse it? Rehearse it? Curse it? Or reverse it?
So, I have been hurting a dear friend with a tyranny of dos and don'ts and a myriad of other issues! Ouch, I really don't know how many years I have hurt this person. Am afraid! But finally the bottle had to give way in a five-paged letter. On this, I wont get into details. Am scribbling this experience hoping I will help someone who has been hurting silently. .... I dedicate it to all my introvert friends (Melancholy and Phlegmatic).
Well, am an expressive person, a talker; I have a sincere heart, always a child, and spontaneous. Did I mention that I have frenzied fluctuation of moods! Atimes as a typical sanguine I say/do things oblivious of other people's feelings. Let me say that we Sanguines: live very much in the here-and-now. Sometimes, our mouths never stop moving. By externalizing our feelings and thoughts is the best way we process them. We think, feel and speak at the same time. Our emotional life is abit shallow. The moment we are wounded or are uncomfortable about something, we are quick to let it be known. We ain't good in reading other people's minds or in between the lines. But we are well-meaning bunch. When we hurt you, please speak up. Help us know how we are saying things to you isn't acceptable. Don't wait until the worms are fully grown. That does more damage than good.
What's the big deal? Having in mind how I process life as a sanguine, I have been hurting a dear friend! Dear Phlegmatic and/or Melancholy friend, you see, bottling up things inside makes the heart hot within, while you muse and have air fights, the fire burns! It helps when you make your thoughts known rather than bottling up issues. Lessons learned!
In Psalm 39, David had decided to muzzle his mouth. He remained utterly silent, not even saying anything good. But his anguish increased; his heart grew hot within him, while musing, the fire burned; then he spoke with his tongue, v.1-3. Thankfully, when he finally spoke he didn't vent on someone but God! He acknowledge the brevity and burdens of life and opened up to God. He recognized his sin as the source of his trouble and misery.
My prayer as transformed Christian is that God would teach me to be sensitive to people's feelings and needs. I pray I will have discernment when dealing with people because I have realized I can be well-meaning in my expressiveness and end up hurting people. I pray that behind my actions and words, I will have even a little intention and forethought.
Yours faithful scribbler,
NzakuNashipae
NzakuNashipae
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