EXPECTATIONS

Dear Diary,

#My_Expectations_Come_From_Who?
#My_Expectation_Will_Not_Be_Cut_Off

Expectation is defined as a strong belief that something will happen; it is a state of anticipation; it is a state of looking forward to what will probably occur whether with hope or dread. Does one's expectations shape his/her future? Do  expectations determine the reality? Does your expectation impact on other people?

In #My_World, there are times I have some incredible, wild expectations and others quite unrealistic. For unmet expectations, most of the time I have found myself reacting with anger, frustration and bitterness. But I also give myself credit for the few times I have responded to unmet expectations with a calm spirit and ease.

Let me share an experience I had last month. A few days before my graduation I excitedly called a friend of mine to express my joy after managing a first class honors. This friend genuinely celebrated me and promised that before my graduation day am entitled to a treat. So I eagerly and patiently waited. Fortunately or unfortunately, that treat never came. When my graduation celebration came on 7/7/2017, I somehow expected that my friend would honor the promise maybe by giving me a perfect gift, lol, whatever perfect gift was in my wildest expectations. This friend attended my celebration but didn't give me anything, how could I be obsessed with such a silly expectation! Ok, I pushed the expectation somewhere at a corner in my mind. Fast forward, three weeks after my graduation i.e. last week on Wednesday, this friend told me something (s)he wanted to do this August but with a smirk I said, "Sorry, I can't take ur words to the bank." I went on to express my expectation and the disappointment I felt coz I didn't receive anything from this being. (S)he apologized that (s)he was broke, but out of frustration I responded, "I can't buy your excuse because you knew about this development since January. Am sorry I over-expected, of course I didn't ask you for anything but you promised it yourself. I blame the disappointment on myself!" That convo ended there but two days later, it emerged to haunt me. My friend send me a bitter text message saying, "I know your mom, dad, bro, siz, bro  and siz-in-law, friends etc came and gave you gifts, I didn't but remember I came! I apologized to my friend for having had an unrealistic expectation. The preceding exchange was bitter and frustrating and regretted for expressing my unmet expectation.

Well, over the weekend I have been thinking critically about my credible and wildest expectations. I am now consciously aware that communicating my expectations can seriously injure a relationship depending on how it's encoded and decoded and the attitudes expressed. I have also had to do an audit of my responses for unmet expectations and I must say I have learned a paramount lesson.

In Acts 3, we meet a crippled beggar who was put at the beautiful gate every day to beg from people going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John, he asked them for money and when they begun to speak to him, he intentionally gave them attention EXPECTING to receive something from them. Fortunately, Peter and John had something bigger than money, a miracle happened. Leaping up, the crippled beggar stood, walked and entered the temple praising God.

I believe that God wants to bless us beyond our wildest expectations but sometimes our expectations are small, unrealistic, shallow and selfish and other times we lack faith. Some other times we are unable to express our sincere expectations to God because we carry with us the past disappointment, anger, bitterness and frustration of unmet expectations. Other times proud attitude can be our hindrances. Certainly, we can expect God to fulfill His promise. We can take Him at His word. Psalm 62:5, says, "Find rest my soul in God alone; my EXPECTATION comes from Him." Psalm 9:18, " The needy will not always be forgotten. The EXPECTATION of the poor shall not perish forever." Proverbs 23:18, "For surely there is a hereafter, and your EXPECTATION will not be cut off."

Yours faithful scribbler,
NzakuNashipae