Mastering The Art of Listening

Dear Diary,

Day 5 of the #Zip_it_40_Day_Challenge

#Shut_Down_the_Motormouth

Here is a quotable quote, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Besides, the Holy Book teaches, “To answer before listening, that is folly and shame,” Proverbs 18:13. “Everyone should be quick to listen; slow to speak and slow to become angry…,” James 1:19.

Last week I had a confrontation with someone. Honestly, I was well-meaning, but when I said the first word, the person interjected me sharply! Considering there were people around, I shut up and went home. Few minutes later the person send me some short messages. I returned the text, “I wish ungeniskiza kwanza!” What followed were insults and condemnation but for once I behaved and restrained myself from texting back angrily. I apologized but was met with hostility and my apology trashed, so because I didn’t want the matter to escalate, I blocked the number! The next day, this person sought audience with me but honestly, I had shut down and didn’t want to listen! I regretted starting the conversation; I should have minded my own business!

I love what am learning on my Day 5, the challenge is to learn to listen. Hearing is not necessarily listening. Ouch! You see, I have some traits of a typical sanguine-I dominate conversations; sometimes am not so patient enough with slow talkers so I do them a favour; sorry, I interrupt the conversation and help them complete what I think they needed to say. Eeer, I love spontaneity and long talks make me slip into wonderland and a time into dystopia. To the introvert, kieleweke, just because you’re quiet and you let others do 99% of the talking, doesn’t mean you’re a good listener. 

Today’s world is high-tech, high speed, and the art of listening has become a rare gift. How then do I even master the art of listening? They say a good listener makes eye contact; doesn’t interrupt; listens without judgement; observes non-verbal signals; creates a suitable environment, makes it easy. Am not anywhere close to this kind of maturity!  To be a good listener, I know I need patience, love and insight. Listening prepares a person to speak well. I won’t add any more word; I repent for being a poor listener. I resolve to be an intentional listener, so help me God! “God, you know she talketh! Please help her to be quick to listen. Amen.”

R,

NzakuNashipae

KACHELBELA: Know, Understand, Be wise

KACHELBELA: Know, Understand, Be wise: Dear Diary, Day 4  # 40Day_Zip_it_Challenge # Shut_the_Motormouth # Know_Understand_be_Wise Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool takes ...

Know, Understand, Be wise

Dear Diary,

Day 4 #40Day_Zip_it_Challenge

#Shut_the_Motormouth
#Know_Understand_be_Wise

Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion,” Ouch!

I remember sometime last year after our August General elections, I saw a post on Facebook which I instantaneously shared in a huff. Shortly, two facebookers namely, Kanini June and Risper Mrembo sent me a DM. I remember Risper telling me how the Holy Spirit nudged her to repent because of the malicious propaganda and lies that were being peddled through social media. June wrote to me, “Don’t be caught up in the politicians’ gibberish…” That day I learned a valuable lesson. (You girls are good people, true sister keepers.) Some people will delay speech and judgment until they are conversant with facts and situation. Others are prone to broadcast the alleged information, data or facts instantaneously whether they know or are ill-informed of the circumstances.

When you receive facts, data or information how do you respond there and then? Well, now you know, only a fool “takes no pleasure in understanding,” Proverbs 18:2.

Next time before you express your opinion, make sure you are well-versed; be aware and have understanding of the facts and circumstances and be wise how you respond. Knowledge is the facts, data, information, awareness or familiarity about a situation. Understanding is ability to decode meaning from the facts. Wisdom is the ability to discern inner qualities; insight; good sense or judgment.

Proverbs 24:3-4 says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Surely, it takes wisdom, knowledge and understanding to build, maintain and appreciate healthy and meaningful relationships. Only a fool “takes no pleasure in understanding,” and by so doing relationships are destroyed!

R,
Nzaku Nashipae

KACHELBELA: The Heart Tongue Connection

KACHELBELA: The Heart Tongue Connection: Dear Diary, On day 3 of the #Zip_it_40Day_Challenge #Shut_Down_the_Motomouth Yesterday I learned that nobody can tame the tong...

KACHELBELA: The Heart Tongue Connection

KACHELBELA: The Heart Tongue Connection: Dear Diary, On day 3 of the #Zip_it_40Day_Challenge #Shut_Down_the_Motomouth Yesterday I learned that nobody can tame the tong...

The Heart Tongue Connection

Dear Diary,

On day 3 of the #Zip_it_40Day_Challenge

#Shut_Down_the_Motomouth

Yesterday I learned that nobody can tame the tongue on his/her own will power; only with the help of the Holy Spirit. As prophet Zechariah declared, “It is not by power nor by might but by My Spirit,” says the Lord, Zech 4:6.

Both Matthew 12:33-34 and Luke 6:43-45, demonstrates a heart-tongue connection. “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good; or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad for a tree is recognized by its fruit,” Matt 12:33. In addition, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him…, for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of,” Matt:12:35; Luke 6:45. Further, “But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them,” Matt 15:18. When evil resides in the heart, it will be exposed in perverse speech.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow springs of life.” There are times we let unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, a critical spirit dock in our hearts! As a consequence, we let out unwholesome talk from our mouths, instead of what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

The battle for verbal holiness starts in the heart. What have you stored up in your heart?

Now, I repent and resolve to allow the Holy Spirit to control my tongue. In addition, I resolve to fill my heart with “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things,” Phil 4:8.

Dear reader, I don’t know about your experience but make sure what you store up in your heart is the right stuff-pure, lovely, true, noble, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

R,

NzakuNashipae

KACHELBELA: Taming the Tongue

KACHELBELA: Taming the Tongue: Dear Diary, # 40_Day_Zip_It_Challenge So, I am more like a  # Motormouth ; an incessant talker! Am taking this journey because I am con...

KACHELBELA: Shut Down the Motormouth

KACHELBELA: Shut Down the Motormouth: On a  # 40_Day_Zip_it_Challenge Day 1 Motormouth is a person who talks quickly and incessantly. Proverbs 10:19, tells us that ...

Taming the Tongue

Dear Diary,

#40_Day_Zip_It_Challenge

So, I am more like a #Motormouth; an incessant talker! Am taking this journey because I am consciously aware that life and death are in the power of my tongue.

Day 2

#The_Battle_of_Verbal_Holiness
#Taming_the_Tongue

James 3:1-12 is an extensive and single most sustained discussion about the use of the tongue. Surprisingly, “Not many of you should become teachers my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness,” v.1. Why is it so? Well, what a teacher says has weight and potential influence and thus requires canon judgment and accountability. James tells us that mastery of tongue is a sign of maturity. He doesn’t talk like a perfect man though, “We all stumble in many ways. …and if anyone does not offend in speech, he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature,” v.2. Eer, am not anywhere close to this level of maturity!

The Disproportionate Power of the Tongue
• The tongue is like a bit in the mouth of a horse, v.3. The tiny object is able to control the massive muscle and energy of the horse and to give it a sense of direction.
• The tongue is like a rudder in a boat/ship, v. 4. Such a capacious and heavy vessel is directed by a small steering apparatus wherever the helmsman determines.
• Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze! The tongue is powerful indeed!

An unregenerate tongue is a crater of death
- Consider these vivid pictures. The tongue is:
1. A Fire, v. 6. A small uncontrolled spark can destroy a vast forest, so it is with a callous word and/or a loose phrase/sentence, it can consume and destroy a life! The energy source for such destruction is itself ignited from hell! Ouch!
2. A world of unrighteousness, v. 6.
3. A restless evil, v.8. The unregenerate tongue roves around and is swift to attack.
4. A deadly poison, v. 8. Suddenly or gradually, the venom of snakes, asps, scorpions eats away or destroys life, that’s so with the unregenerate tongue!
5. Contradictory in nature, v.10-12. The unregenerate tongue is the most contradictory thing in nature. With it we bless God and at the same time we curse people who are made in the image of God, v. 10. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. But this should not be so! “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? … can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water,” v.11-12.

Resolution
“But no man can tame the tongue, v. 8?” Yes, no man can tame the tongue on his own will power. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit within me to control the tongue! As I cleave to Him and yield to Him in obedience, He controls my tongue. As I begin this 40-Day Challenge of learning to zip it, I pray that the Holy Spirit will control my tongue; I pray that He will convict me of any sinful/offensive word and will enable me to repent.

R,

Nzakunashipae

Shut Down the Motormouth

On a #40_Day_Zip_it_Challenge

Day 1

Motormouth is a person who talks quickly and incessantly.

Proverbs 10:19, tells us that when there are many words, sin and offense are unavoidable. But he who can muzzle his lips and maintain a thoughtful silence is wise.

Are you talkative? Well, learn to give your lips a break and perfect the art of wise and thoughtful silence.

This is my prayer and resolve, Psalm 39:1, I said, "I will watch my ways so that I will not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle as long as the wicked are present."

#Talk_Quality_not_Quantity

R,

NzakuNashipae