Tuesday, 6 November 2018

Mastering The Art of Listening


Dear Diary,

Day 5 of the #Zip_it_40_Day_Challenge
#Shut_Down_the_Motormouth

Here is a quotable quote, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Besides, the Holy Book teaches, “To answer before listening, that is folly and shame,” Proverbs 18:13. “Everyone should be quick to listen; slow to speak and slow to become angry…,” James 1:19.

Last week I had a confrontation with someone. Honestly, I was well-meaning, but when I said the first word, the person interjected me sharply! Considering there were people around, I shut up and went home. Few minutes later the person send me some short messages. I returned the text, “I wish ungeniskiza kwanza!” What followed were insults and condemnation but for once I behaved and restrained myself from texting back angrily. I apologized but was met with hostility and my apology trashed, so because I didn’t want the matter to escalate, I blocked the number! The next day, this person sought audience with me but honestly, I had shut down and didn’t want to listen! I regretted starting the conversation; I should have minded my own business!

I love what am learning on my Day 5, the challenge is to learn to listen. Hearing is not necessarily listening. Ouch! You see, I have some traits of a typical sanguine-I dominate conversations; sometimes am not so patient enough with slow talkers so I do them a favour; sorry, I interrupt the conversation and help them complete what I think they needed to say. Eeer, I love spontaneity and long talks make me slip into wonderland and a time into dystopia. To the introvert, kieleweke, just because you’re quiet and you let others do 99% of the talking, doesn’t mean you’re a good listener. 

Today’s world is high-tech, high speed, and the art of listening has become a rare gift. How then do I even master the art of listening? They say a good listener makes eye contact; doesn’t interrupt; listens without judgement; observes non-verbal signals; creates a suitable environment, makes it easy. Am not anywhere close to this kind of maturity!  To be a good listener, I know I need patience, love and insight. Listening prepares a person to speak well. I won’t add any more word; I repent for being a poor listener. I resolve to be an intentional listener, so help me God! “God, you know she talketh! Please help her to be quick to listen. Amen.”

R,

NzakuNashipae




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