What's the color of my lenses?
On Father’s Day 2015,
I woke up feeling empty and lonely. What a manner to start off the day! As I flipped
through facebook, reading through some posts for and about fathers, I noted
that some of the posts were very sad while others very inspiring and worth of
envy. Personally, I didn’t have anything to write about my own biological
father, I felt lonely and sad! Yes, I have a father of course. I believe he is
still alive somewhere and I sense he has a great family. I don’t know if he was
excited about my arrival especially because there is a difference of almost 10
years between me and my elder sister. Well, I do not have those childhood
memories of my relationship with him. I can’t remember if he is the one who
taught me how to walk or something. I’m not sure if he ever kissed my forehead
or stroked my tender cheeks. I’d wish to know if he bought me dolls, dresses
and shoes. I can’t figure out if he was keen on my formative years bla bla bla.
Honestly, I was
envious reading some of those facebook posts and the family photos with fathers
holding their children. For once I really wanted to be with my daddy that Father’s
Day morning and share some father-daughter stories and laughter...but if wishes
were horses that day I’d have rode mine! However, I have a man who loves mommy
and loves me too, he is such a great man, and I honor him. I sent him a happy Father’s
Day message and also sent him a gift. Later in the day he called to say, “Thank
you my daughter.” Aww! That felt
awesome, I had this warm glow in my heart that brightened my faceJ.
Yea, I have a dad!
Where am leading
at?
Recently I read
some journals “The Case for Grace” by Lee Strobel and this statement caught my
attention, “A young person’s relationship with his/her earthly father can
greatly color his/her attitude toward God.” He further explains that some of
the well-known atheists through history had felt abandoned or deeply
disappointed with their fathers, making it less likely they would want to know
a heavenly Father. They grew up believing that father’s hurt. Although more
than enough times they have been told that they have a heavenly Father who
loves them that doesn’t bring joy to them instead it brings pain because they
are not able to discern the difference between a heavenly Father and an earthly
father. I guess I understand and feel their pain. I remember some years back while
in my primary school kids would share amazing stories about their family experiences
over the weekend and those were my hardest seasons of life because a times I’d cry
myself to sleep because I didn’t have a daddy to talk about with my schoolmates.
So do I have
issues relating with my heavenly Father just because I didn’t have an earthly
father great experiences?
Well, for many
years have recited the Lord’s Prayer words, “Our Father who is in heaven...” Countless
times consciously or unconsciously I pray, “Father, in Jesus name....” but
really, is it mechanical-just because my Sunday school teachers taught me that
I have to pray, “Father in the name of Jesus...” Did I have that intimate
relationship with my heavenly Father to a point I understand what it is like to
relate with Him? Is He really my Father? Does He really love me? Can I really
sense His love all around me? Well, let’s just say I am beginning to understand
what it is like to be an adopted daughter of the most high loving and caring
Father...
This will be a
story for another day, follow through. I will keep you in the loop about my
ADOPTION into the Family.
With Love,
Kachel
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